Bariatric Surgery, or "Look Ma!, I got 7 New Holes in my Body!"

Had my surgery on Monday. Started with the usual hospital gown questions. Why do they put snaps everywhere else on the gowns except in the back, where you need them? Next, we moved on to my usual attempt to pass out while the nurse was starting an I.V. What can I say? I have always hated needles. Eventually, I was stuck, prodded, typed and cross-matched and got to lay there in pre-op for a couple hours. Glad I brought a book. Doctor came in, chatted for a moment then away I went to the staging area for surgery, or as the anesthesiologist called it, "the on-deck circle". Got some stuff to 'relax me' that most definitely should be sold in six-packs. Down to surgery and sleep we go!

Woke up in post op, evidently everything went well. Was sore, sleepy, and had 7 new shiny holes in the body! Whee! They had some trouble getting my blood pressure down, I wasn't responding to the normal meds, so they gave me a different one and it fixed me right up. Got to my room, saw my wife and the surgeon, went to sleep.

Got discharged Wednesday and some things have popped to mind about bariatric surgery. First, being required to walk up and down the halls every 4 hours while doped up on pain killers, anti-nausea and attached to enough machinery to launch a war with sucks. Having said that, the hospital I was at was top-notch. Wonderful room that my wife was able to stay with me at, great nurses and techs, and clean as a whistle! Plenty of my new favorite food group, sugar-free popcicles. There are down sides of course. A 2 ounce (yes, I said OUNCE) pouch for a stomach means that massive adjustments are being made in how I do things, but this is a good thing. Gas bubbles after bariatric surgery hurt. Alot. Catheters, well, the less said about those devices of torture, the better!

In all, I am looking forward to getting this stupid weight off so I can go back to doing all the things I used to do before my health got bad. Makes it worth it to me.